Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.

Lenny Bruce

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

Lenny Bruce

When I was ambushed by global warming advocates recently - no, they haven't given up - they asked me the same questions they always ask: "What if you're wrong?" and "If you're wrong will you apologize to future generations?" I always answer, "What if you're wrong? Will you apologize to my twenty kids and grandkids for the largest tax increase in American history?" They usually don't have anything to say after that.

James Inhofe

I feel if some kid has sat down and felt I'm important enough to write two pages of words to and take up a lot of his valuable time, then he deserves a few words back, or even a phone call as I have done on a few occasions.

Jim Dale

I'd get more applause than some because I was just seventeen. If they didn't clap at the end of my act I would limp off stage and boy would they feel guilty. They would all burst into tremendous applause as they saw this poor cripple kid walking off.

Jim Dale

I remember being taught in school that you would underline things that you liked. I remember just underlining everything as a kid, thinking, 'This has all gotta be important!' I would just underline the whole thing!

Paul Thomas Anderson

You do your job every day. When things go right, there's never any coverage. But when certain things happen, boy, the world descends on you and they plug you into a narrative that has been established that you're either a pig, you're a racist, you're a hater, and that's why you joined the cops and so forth. The good work you do - it's kind of like the CIA, every success nobody can ever know. You guys, not that your work is clandestine, but it's not news when you save a kid.

Rush Limbaugh

If your kids are realizing that they descend from something, that's really great. The more you're able to inculcate that the greater amount of pride they're gonna have. That's incredible.

Rush Limbaugh

Let kids dream! Let them fantasize. Let them plan all these great things they want to be. Stoke it, instead of limiting what you think people can do and limiting what you think their capabilities are. And liberals, by definition, do that. They don't think anybody's capable of much. That's why government's need.

Rush Limbaugh

The worst thing you can do is to turn over your life to a political party that simply is going to use you. And the evidence is clear. Look at all of these groups that have been voting Democrat for 50 years. Take a look at the towns that have been nothing but Democrat, towns and cities, for 30 years, and just take a look at them. The evidence is right there. We got the strong, silent type, and they have been replaced by this pajama-clad kid that the Regime used to sell Obamacare. The pajama kid! The nerd in his pajamas.

Rush Limbaugh

Ever since Marx, leftists have known that the simplest way to controlling a country is via education, the news industry, and health care. If you, as a leader or as a member of a leadership organization can succeed in taking over those three things where only kids, young people, only learn what you want them to learn, they learn how horrible freedom is, how unfair capitalism is, how mean-spirited, all of this, how wonderful equality and egalitarian is. Whenever there is a communist invasion or revolution, the news outlets are the first things seized and then the schools and then health care.

Rush Limbaugh

Kids are told there are no differences between boys and girls. They are told there is no such thing ultimately as right and wrong. Values are relative. Truth is relative. Morality is defined by individual choice. If that isn't a recipe for sexual harassment and other forms of sexual and physical abuse, I don't know what it is.

Rush Limbaugh

Now your kids can't escape. Thirteen-year-olds back then, if they didn't watch the evening news, they didn't see news. If they didn't watch the 6:30 or seven p.m. news, they didn't see news. Today younger people have much more access to that kind of hard news than you did when you were 13 back then.

Rush Limbaugh

Your kids have been taught that there is a more equivalence between Martin Luther King and today's Muslims - a moral equivalent between today's aggrieved gays and lessons and Muslims. They're all victims of an evil and ill-formed United States of America.

Rush Limbaugh

Democrats are fighting for people to be able to quit work while the rest of us pay for their health care while they go out and be artists and photographers and tend to bipolar kids with asthma or what have you, and we're going to pay for this.

Rush Limbaugh

By the way, Howard Zinn's History of America is front and center at the gift shop of the New York Historical Society. The New York Historical Society is deluged with school kids on a daily basis.

Rush Limbaugh

I know some African-Americans, they happen to be conservative, they're successful. They, of course, have raised their kids, and kids can't escape in school the history of slavery and all of the horrible things that happened in the past. But they weren't raised that way, and they are not raising their kids to be imprisoned by that. They're raising them to be the best they can be today, to take advantage of the opportunity that exists today.

Rush Limbaugh

If you take a look at education, the kids that get good grades are said to humiliate those who don't. And what, then, do we do? Slow them down. We put obstacles in their way. We do not devise public education systems that are designed to deal with their superior learning ability. We retard it so that they don't learn any more, any faster than the lowest common denominator - and that really is the nub of it. The Democrats' equality and sameness is all going to be defined by the lowest common denominator.

Rush Limbaugh

I have never believed the manmade global warming allegation, but I fully understand however the people who do. All it takes is a 105-degree day in July, and the normal reaction is, "Man, it's getting hotter! I wonder if we're getting hotter?" When I was a kid, everybody wondered, "Are we on getting closer to the sun?" This is a natural thing. This is really where the left is really smart. They have the ability to tap into what people of their own volition are already concerned about, and then they give 'em a reason, and they give 'em substantiation for it.

Rush Limbaugh

America is not a democracy. I think if your kids understood that - and most people don't. We are a representative republic. We're not a direct democracy.

Rush Limbaugh

The Democrats are coming along, and Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi have made it look like, "Hey, we're willing to work with Donald Trump. Hey, we'll help him get what he wants, but it's gotta be what we want." They struck a deal. Chuck and Nancy go out there tell the media, "Hey, we got rid of the wall! Trump's joining us on the DACA kids and we got rid of the wall." They report that; everybody believes it. Everybody believes the first thing that they hear.

Rush Limbaugh

I had to call in because I do believe, I know of cases, it is happening that some of these kids that weren't born here but they've lived here all their lives, they are being deported. And I also know of cases where the kids are born here, they're American citizens, they're put in foster homes and their parents are deported, and their parents are begging to get their kids back. That actually is happening.

Rush Limbaugh

Who do you think, as you gaze at the entire scene in Washington, who is it that's acting like a bunch of children? It isn't Trump. Who is it throwing the tantrums because they didn't get their way? Who is it acting like hysterical spoiled brats because their side lost the game? Who is it that's insisting, because they lost the game, that the rules be changed? Who is it that's acting like any average eight- to nine-year-old kid who's told he can't have any more Twinkies or whatever kids - marijuana; I don't know.

Rush Limbaugh

I was a normal kid. I rebelled. But I've never been a liberal. And there have been all kinds of efforts to make me one. I've not bothered to tell any of these stories. Folks, we all face them.

Rush Limbaugh

It's the end of the day where wives stay home and raise the kids and all that. That demeaning stuff? No more. Country club memberships, that's what you shoot for! To hell with that.

Rush Limbaugh

I don't like weeds! My father made me mow weeds and cut weeds when I was a kid. I've hated weeds ever since I was 12 years old. I'll never go in the weeds! I'll never gonna take you in the weeds.

Rush Limbaugh

Dr. Ben Carson is a first-class human being and citizen. He is exactly the kind of person that you could trust running any government institution. You would trust him to babysit your kids. He's just an admirable human being.

Rush Limbaugh