Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.

Sam Ewing

On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?

Sam Ewing

The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.

Sam Ewing

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.

Sam Ewing

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Sam Ewing

When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.

Sam Ewing