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Rita Rudner Quotes
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he wont get a bikini wax. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Before I met my husband, Id never fallen in love, though Id stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Before I met my husband, Id never fallen in love. Id stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I dont plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasnt mine. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I love being married. Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I dont know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, Ill break up with someone on purpose. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. Theyve experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I dont even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctors office was full of portraits by Picasso. - Rita Rudner Quotes
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner Quotes
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner Quotes
It wasnt that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Marriages dont last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? - Rita Rudner Quotes
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? - Rita Rudner Quotes
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - theyve experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mothers tasted better the day before. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mothers tasted better the day before. - Rita Rudner Quotes
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didnt want him to. - Rita Rudner Quotes
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner Quotes
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We cant decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner Quotes
My husband gave me a necklace. Its fake. I requested fake. Maybe Im paranoid, but in this day and age, I dont want something around my neck thats worth more than my head. - Rita Rudner Quotes
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping. - Rita Rudner Quotes
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, its quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. - Rita Rudner Quotes
Quotes Cloud
Before Country Fallen Fight Husband Love Never
Stepped Though Times Will Wont
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