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Joan Rivers Quotes
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes shes a tramp. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Boy George is all England needs - another queen who cant dress. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Dont follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Dont tell your kids you had an easy birth or they wont respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I dont excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the hell off my property. - Joan Rivers Quotes
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what Id look like without plastic surgery. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Im Jewish. I dont work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers Quotes
If God wanted us to bend over hed put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Its been so long since Ive had sex Ive forgotten who ties up whom. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Its so long since Ive had sex Ive forgotten who ties up who. - Joan Rivers Quotes
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers Quotes
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash. - Joan Rivers Quotes
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top. - Joan Rivers Quotes
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers Quotes
She doesnt understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven. - Joan Rivers Quotes
Quotes Cloud
Another Around Before Cant Dress England George
Husband Killer Love Make Makes Mistakes Needs
Pain Queen Questions Shes Sleep Takes Twenty
Woman
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