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David Letterman Quotes
A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know Im thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag. - David Letterman Quotes
And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that will one day hate the United States. - David Letterman Quotes
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. Its all part of Woodys plan to grow his own wives. - David Letterman Quotes
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, Ive got a doctor with me 24 hours a day. Yeah, thats always the sign of a man in good health, isnt it? - David Letterman Quotes
Dont forget its daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. Its like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed. - David Letterman Quotes
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman Quotes
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. Thats bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel. - David Letterman Quotes
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. - David Letterman Quotes
For the love of God, folks, dont try this at home. - David Letterman Quotes
Heres a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno. - David Letterman Quotes
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. - David Letterman Quotes
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red. - David Letterman Quotes
I know these jokes arent great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when youre between impeachments. - David Letterman Quotes
Im just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious. - David Letterman Quotes
Iraqs elite Republican Guard is doing so badly theyre changing their name to the Democratic Guard. - David Letterman Quotes
Iraqis minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well. - David Letterman Quotes
Its official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least thats what everybody thinks he said. - David Letterman Quotes
Its so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan? - David Letterman Quotes
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I dont know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode? - David Letterman Quotes
New York now leads the worlds great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldnt make a sudden move. - David Letterman Quotes
New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you. - David Letterman Quotes
Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger. - David Letterman Quotes
No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that its live. You know, its like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney. - David Letterman Quotes
People say New Yorkers cant get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. - David Letterman Quotes
President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he cant pronounce Schwarzenegger. - David Letterman Quotes
President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and Im thinking, well, hell, he didnt need the approval of the American voters to become president, either. - David Letterman Quotes
President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind? - David Letterman Quotes
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman Quotes
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. - David Letterman Quotes
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. Hes dead, then hes alive, then dead, then alive. Its just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral. - David Letterman Quotes
Quotes Cloud
Allen Baby Before Brand Consider Daughter Evidence
Example Flag Folks France German Grow Hate
Have Independent Into Iraq Know Last More
Nation Order Paris Part Plan Really Rebuild
Right Soon States Still Strong That They
Thinking Threat Through Time United Wanted Wants
Will With Wives Woody Woodys
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